Why doesn’t Sheldon Adelson want medical marijuana in Florida?


I am ashamed to admit this, but this was the first election that I haven’t voted since I’ve been registered.

You see I am so disgusted with this fight we engage in daily with “the powers that be” that I couldn’t bring myself to try to make a difference anymore.

When I turned on the news the morning after the mid-term elections I was shocked to see that Amendment 2 did not pass. The results…

57.55% voted yes
42.45 voted no

How convenient. Governor Scott won with 48.2% of the vote.

I couldn’t just sit here and accept that Florida voters decided against Medical use of Marijuana. I can count on one hand the people who I know who were against it. Most everyone I know is touched somehow by a relative or friend who could use Marijuana, whether it is a veteran overcoming PTSD, cancer, spasms or seizures.

So how did John Morgan’s 5 million dollars get thrown away like that?

I had to get to the bottom of it. So I set out to find out who was behind the movement against it.

I found a man, a billionaire by the name of Sheldon Adelson. He is a casino magnate from Las Vegas with a net worth of about 40 billion dollars. This man contributed 5.5 million dollars to the cause, but why? I wanted to know.

As I began my research on this billionaire I find an incredible individual that came from nothing, literally. He never even finished college. Without getting into the man’s entire bio I can tell you that I had mixed feelings about the whole thing.

I discovered that Sheldon’s son died of a drug overdose in 2005 in Ft. Myers, Florida. I had to roll my chair back from the laptop and think for a minute. For that minute I almost felt bad for the guy. He is just scared. Perhaps his son started out smoking dope and escalated from there. I couldn’t be sure, so I kept looking and digging.

Sheldon Adelson, who has been known to refer to himself as the richest Jew in the world and also as Sheldon Adelson III, even though his father was not Sheldon Adelson ,he refered to himself as the III because he, at the time was the third richest man in the world. He now stands at like number 10, depending on which article you read about him.

As I continued to dig I find that this guy gives away a lot of money. Mostly to Israeli causes and American politics. His contribution to the 2012 presidential election, the GOP specifically, was around 150 million dollars and he is gearing up for 2016.

I attempted to find what other states he contributed to in order to oppose marijuana and I found none. Not even Alaska who flat-out passed the amendment for recreational use of Marijuana. HMMM?

Why then?

This wasn’t about his son at all.

It turns out that Mr. Adelson has an interest in influencing Florida Legislators who are mulling over proposals for a limited number of casinos here in Florida.

BINGO! Pun intended.

Seems to me that he would want some stoners to go to the casino and forget how much money they spent.

So I am not so ashamed after all about not showing up to vote. I don’t think it matters. Republicans and Democrats are just labels. No matter whom we vote for they represent the Sheldon Adelsons and the Koch brothers along with the large contributors to their cause. When will we wake up? I would love to see an election of rebellion where not one of us shows up to vote. What will they do then? Probably the same thing anyway.

I can dare us all to not show up to vote, but we are such sheep. We follow the leader right into the stalls where they want us and we vote for the proposal of it to boot.

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Posted by on November 6, 2014 in Uncategorized


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To ask or Not to ask

the universe

Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?

When I was younger these thoughts seemed to plague my every silent moment.

These days I find myself not asking these questions as much anymore. It’s not as though I feel that the questions have been fulfilled with answers of any kind.

So I asked myself why. Why don’t I ever ask this anymore? Sometimes I feel as though I may have some of the answers, but then I take it back because in all logic I know that I have made choices that have determined at least my purpose.

Some say that it is all accidental or random. Some schools of thought pose the theory that it’s all part of an elaborate plan, God’s plan, I assume.

It seems like my friends and I used to talk about these very questions more so than we do now, especially when we were passing around the peace pipe.

Anymore we just don’t have these conversations and I question why. Is it our age? Now that we are all fifty something are we satisfied with what life has answered for us?

I ask myself this and at the same time wonder what happened to the wonder.

Could it be that I have established the answers with the things that I have acquired, or the goals that I have accomplished, or even the deeds that I have stuffed under my belt to show at the pearly gates as my cover charge?

I made it a point to sit and ponder these very questions that have disappeared from my inner dialogue and realized that I was far more spiritual in my youth than now. I have made definite decisions about the questions at hand without re-questioning myself.

I had to be honest about this and at the same time dig deep enough to dredge up what has long been buried in the life that I took on as a result of the momentum that was created each time I picked up that football and ran for the goal post. Each time I scored, I feel like I closed a door on the question and moved on to the next. Even when I didn’t score I found myself trying again without sitting still and asking myself what the goal even was.

I suddenly felt the desire to be so curious. To find out what I wanted to be or fulfill. To shake the very ground on which I stood in order to create the instability that once shook me into a plan of action.

Things seem to just happen anymore and I wanted to go back to my creative process that existed before the world began to dictate what it “should be.”

I needed a new program. So I created one. One that when I wake, I ask these three questions to myself and spend my day figuring it out. I have to do this because paying the mortgage, buying groceries and taking care of business was too easy and lame. I need more. I need that definition in my life so that I don’t forget who I am. So I don’t forget the wonder and most importantly don’t forget to create.

Won’t you join me?

Together we can create the change.


Posted by on October 31, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Great Expectations

A child is doted on for a lifetime growing up. Once grown he/she expects to be doted on and while not coming right out and saying so, this child will want more of the same and why not.

So I ask why we would ever expect an abused child to grow up saying, I want something different? It seems so predictable that we would want better for ourselves because abuse and lack of respect are so painful and who wouldn’t want to change that?

As the survivor of such treatment I can only relate my own experience in breaking a cycle of abuse and reprogramming from expectation to creation.

First there must be recognition of what your expectations are. This can prove to be difficult as we all suffer from some sort of denial about where we have been. Most of us like to fantasize about the life we know and becoming brutally honest with ourselves about that is crucial to recovering and becoming comfortable with the new experience.

In my own experience it wasn’t so much the denial of where I had come from, but of whom I had become as a result of my experiences. You see the experience forms us and we tend to identify with the emotions that surface as a result of things like verbal abuse and abandonment.

The best way to describe this is to share a reflection that I was mulling over just recently as I took a long ride with a friend of mine to Key Largo from Orlando. My friend and I were talking about past relationships; mine more specifically since she had just lost her partner of 26 years to cancer. I in turn have been through a couple of long term relationships along with a couple short term relationships.

Don’t get me wrong, in 16 years of being in relationships, two were 7 years long and two were a year long.
Using the long term relationships as my guide I began to tell my friend of my experiences and we both agreed that I am probably ill equipped to engage in anymore of that.

You see as I reflected on those individuals, I found many common denominators. Both of my partners were controlling, belittling, verbally and financially abusive.

What struck me as curious in the duplication weren’t so much the individuals themselves as much as their behavior in other relationships.

Neither of these partners treated partners before me or after me like they treated me. I had to be brutally honest about why.

First I had to note that no one in their right mind would put with a partner who drew frowning faces on the calendar when they perceived that you made them sad, and happy faces on the days you made them happy. This put in full vision an account of how many days you made your partner sad as opposed to happy. And like a good controller, the sad days always outnumbered the happy ones.

No one in their right mind would agree to let someone go through your glove box every time you left them in the car to go into a store. To read through your journals or to tell you that if you go out with friends on your own they will leave you, even though they do it all the time.

Who wants to be with someone that if you earn nothing its okay. If you earn $200 a week so you need to give $180 to the household and if you earn $600 then $580 is due. Someone who is asked by a therapist if it is really fair to expect your partner to pay half the expenses even though they earn 10 times more than you and the answer was yes.

Unfortunately I saw this too late but it was me that created this environment. Why did I put up with it? Well in my mind if I didn’t I would be left alone. I never once stood up to this behavior because I was convinced through my experiences that it was the best I could do.

It didn’t even hit me when I saw one of these exes ask her present girlfriend “is it okay if I smoke a cigarette?” and her girlfriend responded “what part of no don’t you understand?” It was what I considered a moment of victory for me and yet it made me question what had just happened. This same ex kicked me out of the house when we broke up while I had an eight year old in tow, left her house and paid the bills while her present girlfriend, who also had a child, figured out what she was going to do. Her reasoning was that it wasn’t fair to displace the child. Hmmm? Was it that or was she extending the hope that her partner would stay?

What happened was a transfer of insecurity. My confident and superior partner was now me.

They were now insecure of being left alone and had handed power over to the one they feared would leave them, just like me once.
My point is this…

…your expectation of being less than, will produce the result of how you will be treated.

Can you change your expectation? Or should you instead rely on what is true and fair?

If anything were to happen to either of these exes I don’t think I will dwell on any of these facts. Instead I will always remember the human that I loved and will miss.

Stay in the love, in the now and most importantly in the human factor which we all share.

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Posted by on October 24, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Be the Parnter you Want

In recent days I have been listening to some of the single people who I know. I’m talking about people who have recently separated from a long-term relationship and have somehow lost a sense of not only themselves, but what they want in someone else.

I listen as they attempt to paint the picture of the new partner that they desire to attract.

Most commonly I hear them make comparisons to the ex they have just left behind. I’ll hear how they really want the opposite of what they have been involved in for years, and yet they stayed. Now that there is distance suddenly they are reflecting on how unhappy they were and how they are going to make changes for the next relationship.

As someone who has been single for most of the last 13 years, I have given a great deal of thought to this subject. Anyone that knows me can attest to the fact that I have no interest in being in a relationship. Not that I am opposed to having a partner, but I have been busy with some other intense life goals that would have interfered with a partnership. I must add that I feel a partnership would have interfered with these goals as well. I am absolutely positive that there is a partner out there that could have tolerated all the time and passion that went into these goals that I had, but that would be in my opinion a very unique individual.

What I have learned in my path of being single and independent is this…

Become the partner you want to attract. If you want a partner who takes good care of themselves, take good care of yourself first. If you want a partner who is respectful, show respect. If you are looking for someone generous, be giving. If you want a partner who is independent, be independent. If you want someone who is honest, be honest.

I could go on and on. My point is that you need to make this list of what you want in someone and from that list begin to transform yourself into that very partner. I don’t see any other way to achieve this perfection.




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Posted by on July 25, 2014 in Uncategorized


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The Long Goodbye to my Mami 3/11/1936 thru 4/15/2014

I have been a caregiver for my parents for almost three years. My mother had Alzheimer’s and I have had the rare opportunity to be a witness to a disease that takes the human experience backward. I have watched as my mother spiraled downward from a full functioning adult into a mere 140 pound toddler. Most of all I watched helplessly as more than her abilities disappeared.

My mother was co-dependent. She always had people around her. Her home was where all the holidays were celebrated and you wouldn’t let her find out that you were alone or doing without on these days because it was her mission to serve you on the special days. That being said I watched slowly as the crowd around her thinned.

Her illness didn’t allow her to be the star of the show anymore and the very people that she so showered with love, food and laughter would no longer find time to come to her side. It made me sad but she didn’t know. Her disease protected her from what was happening to her. So over three years I watched as her large life became very small until there was just us.

And then there was just her in her own little world.

Rest in peace Mami.

I miss you with all my heart and soul.

I thank you for the strength and courage that you passed on to me before passing on.

I shall never forget.

A picture of “My Maria’s” with a little Sugar.


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Posted by on April 22, 2014 in Uncategorized


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The NPR Story Corps Interview with Lola

Lola and I had the great opportunity to talk for 40 minutes on Story Corps. It was awesome. They invite you into this Airstream trailer and place you into close proximity to one another. Lola and I got deep, in each others face and REAL.

It was kind of difficult to talk at first, but once we got going, once we got truthful and once we unmasked, we got to be who we we really are and say what we really think.

One of the highest experiences I have ever had.

I definitely recommend it.

To record this and know that it will forever be archived in the Library of Congress.

In one hundred years people who never knew us will have the opportunity to hear what we learned and where we were.

Can you imagine having the same chance in 1914?

Press play to hear the interview

Story Corps

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Posted by on January 31, 2014 in Uncategorized


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Power of Prayer

I recently began talking with a good friend of my sister. Kimmy was very young when I first met her. She was eleven years old at the time and I was fourteen. I think it is because of that alone that I consider her a little girl, even though she is forty-eight years old now.

Kimmy was the youngest member of the Burton family who are mentioned in the book. I didn’t get to talk about Kimmy much because again, she was my sister’s friend and I really hung out with her older sister and brother mostly.

While Kimmy and I don’t have much in common, we have spent sometime on the phone in recent days. She allowed me to unleash some of the negative feelings that come up for me as I watch my mother suffering.

My mother’s behavior has been unbelievably difficult to handle lately and Kimmy has taken on the task to inspire me daily.

Everyday she takes time before going to work and sending me a text message with a prayer for my mother and me.

I have been inspired by that simple gesture, but most amazing is the peace and calm that has come over my household since the prayer texts have been flowing in from Kimmy.

It has convinced me that the power of prayer is what I tend to forget most in my times of trial.

Thank you Kimmy for your prayers, for your inspiration and most of all for being a true friend when I needed one to understand my needs better than me.

You are a saint sent from the past to remind me of the good in people and for that you will always be a little girl. Sometimes adults forget, especially me.

Stay young in spirit Kimmy so that you can keep us old souls in line!

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Posted by on January 12, 2014 in Uncategorized


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