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Week-End With Barbara… Acting as if

Barbara is my first cousin on my mother’s side. Her mother and my mother are sisters. My mother had no shortage of siblings and I had no shortage of first cousins. I don’t apologize to any other cousin for saying that Barbara is and has always been my favorite.

My mother was the baby of the family so my siblings and I are considerably younger than most of our cousins. I can count three cousins that are younger than us.

So for me and I’m assuming my siblings as well, those cousins, all of them were my idols. With a ten-year age difference with most of them I was always looking up.

I spent a great deal of time with them all because our family did everything together. If someone was coming from Cuba then every single tribe of our family drove to the airport, packed in cars to pick up one person. The family gathered often as you can imagine the number of birthdays from newborn to old and of course all the Christian holidays along with the most important day, Saturday.

Like Saturday, you might ask why Barbara. Our mother’s were very close and so I may have spent more time with Barbara than other cousins, but that was true even when I wasn’t with my mother.

There was a connection from the very beginning with Barbara. I loved all of my cousins and throughout the years, as there have been many, Barbara and I have always stayed in touch. We always made our way closer geographically through the years as well. Sometimes it worked out for a while, but most times we would drift back to our worlds, which were very different.

Now I’m 51 years old and Barbara is 61.

We are still just as close and have remained so over the fifty years.

This week-end Barbara came up to rescue me from a potential disaster which turned out okay. We watched old movies from when I was a kid and baby. The conversation turned to the years that have passed. The people in our family who are no longer with us and we remembered the family gatherings in which we grew in our affection for one another.

Of all the things that this crazy family ever did, I was always grateful for those gatherings.

We talked about the significance of our existence. This was a difficult subject as we both thought we expected more.

I learned this weekend that my mother was introduced to my father by the girlfriend of a co-worker. My father wasn’t interested in meeting anyone so he stood them up five times.

Finally they tricked him and surprised him with my mother.

My father still wasn’t interested and when he fled Cuba in exile he lost touch with my mother. He was interacting with another woman that he expected to come home to.

When my father got home he found that my mother had parked herself in his home with his family. The family had fallen in love with my mother and told my father that this woman has been waiting for him and he will marry her.

Barbara and I were instantly drawn by the power of intention. My mother didn’t understand the fundamentals and laws of intention, but she knew it didn’t matter about the laws. She never saw it any other way.

We diagnosed her as “acting as if.”

My mother placed herself in my father’s home and “acted as if” it was her family, “acted as if” she were already married to my father. She convinced the universe.

The intention on the part of my mother is what brought Barbara and me to this very point in time and space.

Barbara and I recalculated our expectations. We had to verbalize that we were satisfied with the fact that we were living our life purpose.

As much as I thought I could set the world on fire, I realized that it is okay for me to be on fire and spread light and warmth.

Barbara helped me conclude that looking back at the world that I leave behind me, my history, that I have touched the world. I left an imprint of my intentions. I had to thank God for the good intentions out numbering the bad ones. I am human after all.

So from here forward I work to achieve the ability to never “act as if” anything that I don’t want to happen.

To concentrate on “acting as if” the things I do want to happen.

Barbara reminded me to be impeccable with my word and to do my very best.

And this is only and example of what I walk away with when I spend time with my favorite Cousin.

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Cousins Know Best

My cousins, who were mostly older than me since my mother was the baby of her family, were one of the biggest influences of my life. They influenced how I talked, what I wanted to wear, how I wore my hair and the music I would listen to. They were also the most prominent impression that I had of my parent’s native land, Cuba.

My cousins Caridad and Barbara Prince were the ones that told me what it was like in Cuba. They told me how they thought that communism was going to be so good. They recounted for me how they would celebrate privately that no one would be poor and no one would be rich. Everyone would be the same. Caridad would tell me how she and Barbara would walk down the street talking pure gibberish in order to fool others into believing that they spoke English. Barbara told how they lived on a small island and that they had to row a boat to the mainland in order to go to school. I would daydream of how cool it would be, on the water every single morning, with an older sister to do all the rowing to school.

My cousins Loli and Barbara Gusman were really cool ones. They wore the really cool clothes and were up on the latest Motown sound. I guess they were hippies. I know that I started saying “man” after everything like my cousin Loli. She definitely got the blame for that. I still say man. Barbara turned me on to Cheech and Chong. I could listen to that record over and over again. I would laugh every time.

Man, the sister Mary Elephant was the best routine.

Life was great then. My family was close. We spent so much time together. If I wasn’t crashing with them, they were crashing at my house. Even when they grew up and had their own children, they still came around and continued their influence. That alone always made me feel so prized. They made me feel like I was an important element of their lives.

Of course time changes everything.  People get married, move away, and somehow we fall out of touch. That didn’t matter though. I can call Barbara Prince and say hey I’m in South Florida, meet me for lunch, she is there.

I can call Caridad and we can talk for hours, laughing as though no time has passed at all.

Loli is the same. I can phone her up and she is always there to listen, even if it has been years.

Barbara Gusman is my closest cousin. She and I have remained close most of the time. Even when there has been long distances between us we don’t lose touch. She has been there as I go through life’s changes and disappointments.  She never turned her back on me, no matter how crazy I got or acted.

I am thankful for my cousins. All of them, but the ones I name today were the most influential for me. They knew how rough things were at home for us. They helped us escape the madness, even if for short periods of time. They were masters at making that time seem like much more than just that. I know they didn’t have to, they wanted to.

I love you “Cuzzies” and thank you for loving me.

 

 
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Posted by on March 30, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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